My New Tee-Shirt

CRAZY OFFER: ULTRA-Lite personalized performance (tech) shirt for only $12.

I couldn’t resist…

So I ordered the tee-shirt above and here’s the e-mail I received:

Yo Darlene,

This is a brief note (well, maybe not so brief) to inform you that your order from nduranc.com is on its way.

Your shirt(s), sadly, has been participating in an underground international ultra of epic proportions. The recycled plastic Dr. Pepper bottles used in the tech shirt(s) polyester fabric originates from deep-sea caverns off Madagascar. The shirt fabric is then milled in Asia, shipped to the United States, put before the judges on “America’s Got Talent,” and then sent to yet another facility before delivery to nduranc.com, where underage Honey Badgers apply the design.

However, the final leg of your order’s journey is the most hazardous of all. Yes, your order must now survive the byzantine switchbacks of the U.S. Postal Service.

We’re convinced all delivery services have crease-and-wrinkle machines just for shirts. Once you receive your item(s), you may want to throw them in the washer and dryer to rid them of the negative vibes and potential Old Spice aroma.

If you don’t receive your shirt(s) within the next five days, please let us know and we’ll send Dean Karnazes down to the local postal annex to rattle a few cages.

Thanks again for your order.

Never stop (unless instructed to do so by Peirs Morgan, or by a police officer pointing a loaded weapon),

…
Runner & Operations Flunkie